Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
