Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
