a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
