there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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