Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
