Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
