i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
