oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize