yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
