so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
