smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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