this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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