It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
