you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We just shotgunned beers for America
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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