I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
