quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
