we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
