Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
