I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
