I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
