More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
