Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
