Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
