I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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