I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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