Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize