are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
