no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
