i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
