i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
this will be a night to untag.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
