it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
