Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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