yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
