Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
