She's like a pop up book from hell.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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