CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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