who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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