Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
