THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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