even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
