I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
