dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
His hands were made for my vagina.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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