Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize