i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
