Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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