bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
