there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
