Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
