Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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