haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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