For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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