i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
