what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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