please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
