Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
