I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize