STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
