their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
