why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
should my penis look like a turkey
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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