she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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