also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
