I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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