your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
